Un, Duex, Trois, Pirates!
by Raven Ehtar
Summary: Sportacus, a ballet instructor, decides he wants to put on a show with the kids and decides to recruit Robbie Rotten, a cynical ex-dancer, to help him with costumes and choreography. And to sneakily get him back on the stage. And pirates happen. One shot. Ballet AU. Mild Sportarobbie.


_**A/N:**_ _So I've started writing LazyTown fic. I'm not shocked._

 _This was done for a prompt on tumblr. I give you ballet AU LazyTown!_

 _ **Betas:**_ _SkyTurtle_

 _ **Disclaimer:**_ _I do not own_ _LazyTown_ _, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story._

…

Un, Deux, Trois, Pirates!

Raven Ehtar

…

"Alright, everyone, take first position at the barre. Stingy, you can't have one whole barre to yourself, let others use it, too. Everyone ready? Let's start with the plié. Up, and now down… Ziggy, keep your heels down. There you go. And again, down. Keep your tail tucked, Trixie. Stephanie, watch your arm. Good."

The class was going well today. It had taken some time to work out a routine that worked with this group of kids, but Sportacus was pretty sure he'd finally hit on it. With many of the towns he had travelled to, a nice slow warm up usually sufficed, followed by all of the high energy activity in the middle, and a cool down at the end. But they were very energetic in Lazy Town, and starting off slow would invariably lead to fidgeting and very little focus throughout the class. Starting out with something easy, fun and bouncy and then distributing the fundamentals throughout the class seemed to work much better for them all.

"Very good! Now, _tendú en croix_."

Everyone hesitated. Then Ziggy piped up. "Um… _Tendú_ …"

" _En criox_ ," Stephanie said. "Like this, remember?" She demonstrated for him, and the others slyly watched as well. They remembered quickly, it was only the terminology that still tripped them up.

Sportacus smiled. They were all good little dancers, but Stephanie had a particular knack for it. If he had to guess, she would go on to dance professionally. The others might as well if they took it in mind to do so, but Stephanie almost seemed fated for it. As well as being skilled and a quick learner, she was also quick to help others who needed the assistance.

They finished with the _tendú_ , and then moved on to the _degage_ , then the _grande battements_. Then it was on to a little more active work to take off the last of their energy. Turns, kicks and leaps finished off their lessons and had most of them panting and going for the water.

"Before you all go home, I'd like to ask you a question."

They all stopped, turning curious eyes on him. Pixel was already changed and holding one of his handheld game machines, and Ziggy had dug out a giant lollipop out of his bag.

"You've all been doing so good at your lessons, that I thought it would be fun to put together a few dances of our own and then perform them for your parents and friends. What do you think?"

The reaction was about what he had expected, with nearly every face lighting right up.

"You mean like a show?" Stephanie asked, bouncing on her toes, pink hair bobbing with her.

"A whole show?" Pixel put in, just as excited. "With like, costumes and sets and everything?"

Ziggy was practically vibrating. "A show where we get to be the stars?"

"Stars?" Stingy's attention was instantly grabbed. "We would be… _stars_?"

Sportacus laughed, delighted the idea had taken so well and so quickly. "To answer your questions: yes, like a show, but a short show. There will be costumes and perhaps one set, but they will be a bit limited unless I can get a little help. And yes, you would all be stars." He grinned around at the assembled children. "What do you all think?"

In general there was a sound of enthusiasm, but Sportacus noticed one face that did not look fully convinced, one kid who did not voice immediate joy at the suggestion.

"Trixie, what do you think?"

The girl looked up, a frown on her face. "Well… a _ballet_ show… what kind of costumes would they be?"

Ah. Sportacus understood, then, why the hesitation. Trixie was every inch a tomboy; even getting her to come to classes had proved a challenge to her parents at first. Since the traditional costume of ballet performances was very feminine, it was clear where the objection was coming from. He smiled. "I think you'll like what I have in mind, Trixie. For our show, we are going to adapt scenes from a musical, so you can sing as well as dance!"

"Ooo!" The exclamation came from several of the kids. Sportacus had noticed some time ago that every one of his students liked to sing, and further, were all quite talented.

"What musical?" Trixie asked, still suspicious, but more interested now.

" _The Pirates of Penzance_."

There was a pause as this was absorbed, and then a cacophony of excited voices all speaking at once. The general impression of the chaos was one of, "Pirates?! Really?!" And amid all of it, Trixie was grinning as well. Sportacus smiled to himself, pleased.

…

Of course, what Sportacus proposed was going to take a lot of work, both for him and for the kids. Even for something as simple as a class show for family and friends, a lot would have to go into it. There was choreography, costumes, makeup, finding a stage for the performance, giving it a proper background, timing the entrances and exits, arranging the music and - with what Sportacus had in mind - learning all of the songs. Even with only a selection of scenes from _Penzance_ , it was a lot to organize. He could manage, but it would be a simpler matter if he could enlist some help.

Thankfully, he knew exactly who to turn to for that.

Climbing the ladder to the top of the silo behind the billboard, Sportacus gave it a loud knock. "Robbie!" He called as loudly as he could, hoping that his voice would carry enough to reach the man hidden below. "Are you home? Robbie!"

He didn't think he would ever understand why it was Robbie Rotten had decided to live in such a strange place, underground and away from everyone else. But at least it made him easy to find.

"Robbie!"

There came a hollow bang from inside the silo, Sportacus' warning before the roof unhinged and opened up. Like a very carefully groomed gopher, Robbie Rotten popped out. " _What?_ " He looked around until he spotted Sportacus grinning at him. He pulled a face. "Oh. It's _you_. What do you want, Sportapointe?"

"Hello, Robbie. How are you today?"

Robbie squinted at him. "I was trying to sleep when you decided to beat down my door, if you must know. Did you want something, or were you just lonely in that floating studio?"

Sportacus sighed. Sometimes talking to Robbie was almost easy, but it didn't look like it was going to be one of those days. "Well, I was _hoping_ I could interest you in-"

"No," Robbie interrupted before he could finish. "I've told you before that I have _no_ interest in participating in any of your dance shenanigans. I don't dance anymore, _thank you_."

Sportacus caught the roof-lid before Robbie could pull it completely closed, effectively stopping him. "No, Robbie, hold on. I'm not asking you to come to practice."

Robbie looked at him, suspicion in every feature. "Then what?"

"Well, the kids and I were going to be putting on a small show. I know you don't like to dance any more, but you once told me that you still like to make costumes." For the first time, Robbie seemed to take an interest in what he was saying. He looked at Sportacus askance, and Sportacus put on his most charming smile. "Interested?"

"… Maybe. Not really, I mean… What sort of costumes would you… need?"

"Well, we're doing a ballet version of some selected scenes from _Pirates of Penzance_. We won't be doing the whole play, since we don't have enough people, but we _will_ need some pirate costumes and some constabulary costumes. The challenge," he added with a conniving little smirk, "would be to make it so every costume was actually two so the dancers could easily switch between characters."

Robbie was no longer trying to pull the roof back closed again. A certain dreamy look had come over his face, and Sportacus knew that, whether he meant to or not, he was already planning out how to make the costumes Sportacus described. While he was still daydreaming, Sportacus decided t give one more little prod.

"And you know, it you would like to lend a hand with the choreography, I wouldn't say no…"

Robbie blinked and refocused on Sportacus, one eyebrow rising. "I know I _ought_ to refuse. This is obviously some sort of play to get me to be sociable and… _active_. But the thought of what _you_ would come up with if anyone let you near a sewing machine is _awful_." He paused, fingers tapping the metal of the roof as he considered. Finally he seemed to make up his mind, meeting Sportacus' eye with a defiant raise of his chin. "In the interest of saving the general public from your attempts at costumery, I accept."

The grin that spread over Sportacus' face felt as though it were in danger of taking in his ears. "Thank you, Robbie. I knew I could rely on you. And I know you will do a fantastic job! You _are_ very talented, you know."

A blush crept over Robbie's face and the tips of his ears. His nose twitched a little. "Y- yes, well, of course I know that! I'll just go and work on some sketches now. After my nap. I'll drop in one of these days to get measurements on the kids. Until then, you just…" He made a shooing motion at Sportacus, and then dived back inside his underground home, slamming the roof-lid shut after him.

Sportacus smiled, pleased to have successfully recruited Robbie to the show, but just as amused by Robbie's expression just before he left. Sportacus had been in town for a few months, had known Robbie that whole time, and he could still get that response from him.

You'd think he would have gotten used to flirtation by now.

…

The actual designing of the costumes for the kids didn't take very long, at least not the initial designs. Robbie would never admit it to the Sportadoof, but the theme of 'pirates' was one of his absolute favorites, and the designs came easily to him. The extra challenge given by making each costume a two-in-one was navigated by making each jacket reversible and changing hats.

They were good designs, and Robbie was proud of them. He would have been happy to begin making them as soon as he was done sketching… but he still needed the measurements of the kids if they were going to fit. Doing that would mean going up to the surface, and then up to that ridiculous flying studio. It would require interaction with the kids while they were in the middle of their dance lessons.

Robbie shuddered at the idea.

Once upon a time, dance had been Robbie's life as well, but that had been some time ago. The charm of the stage had not lasted the harsh realities that came with being a professional performer, and he had quickly become disillusioned with the whole thing. There were far too many other people, for one, nearly all of them so concerned with their own careers that they would and did kick others down to get what they wanted. Who needed that sort of thing sucking the joy out of what they did?

By the time he'd finally left, dance had become something he hated. He still had his love of sewing, though. No one had managed to taint that for him, and he could stay hidden away in his underground home and pretend none of that had ever happened.

Or at least he had, until Twinkle-Toes had soared into town in his floating studio, and suddenly the whole town was dance obsessed. Whenever Robbie went out, it seemed, reminders of his past were everywhere.

Stupid dancing elf and his… his _dancing_. And now he'd tricked _him_ into getting involved as well. Why did he have to come to Lazy Town in the first place? He'd nearly managed to forget all about his time as a performer before Sportacus had come in like the world's most annoying reminder. Stupid… pretty… _elf_.

So while he had the initial designs, Robbie put off going to the studio for a week. When he did go up and meet Sportacus, the elf's face had lit up the way it always did whenever Sportacus saw him. It was irritating, made it seem like he was actually _happy_ to see him. Which was ridiculous, no one was ever happy to see him. Worse, rather than just letting Robbie measure each of the kids and then leave again, he insisted on looking over his designs. As he flipped through them, his eyes had managed to light up even more than before, his smile radiant.

"Robbie, these are really good! The kids will love them; it'll have them getting into their characters so much more!" He looked up at Robbie, blue eyes shining. "You are very talented, Robbie. I appreciate your help."

Robbie tried not to pay attention to the way his face heated up at the honest compliment, the unaccustomed admiration. "Yes, well, let me get what I came for and I'll be able to make them for you, as well."

Sportacus handed back the sketches. "Actually, could you stay for the class? We're working on some choreography today, and I would like you feedback. Plus, seeing how the kids move might give you some new ideas for their costumes."

Robbie groaned, grumbled, tried to make excuses, but somehow did end up staying for the whole class.

The kids were pretty good, he admitted to himself. They had a good grip of the basics and moved well. Sportacus, it seemed, was a good teacher. That was… frustrating.

He took measurements, and as he did each child quizzed him on their costume. He answered each as briefly as he could, eager to leave. He'd been away from home long enough as it was. Even when he was finished with that, however, he still wasn't allowed to leave, as Sportacus caught him to talk to Robbie about _his_ costume and what he thought of the little choreography they'd put together.

Somehow, this became a new routine. Robbie would go up to have someone try on a costume and then get back to his sewing machine, and then find himself tied up with all sorts of distractions. Choreography consultations, opinions on alterations to the play's plot, general talks about shows and performances… he wasn't sure how he'd gotten drawn into _that_ conversation. Another elf trick, probably. Worse than any conversation he got caught up in with Sportacus, though, were the ones from the kids. They had found out he'd once been a dancer, and decided he was a good person to solicit advice from.

"Robbie, what did you do to keep from getting dizzy on turns?"

"Robbie, how do I kick higher?"

"Robbie, how do you get rid of… stage fright?"

Why it was they decided _he_ was a better person to ask instead of Sportadork, he had no idea. He answered as briefly as he could, just hoping to get questions out of the way and himself gone. Doing that, however, usually meant the kids would either remain, uncertain, or would ask the same question later, only slightly reworded. So he had to give _thoughtful_ answers to each of them.

"Focus on something still as you turn. Whip your head around to watch it."

"How big you do something doesn't matter so much as looking good while you do it. Concentrate on that first, and the rest will come later."

"Smile big and remember that you're better than anyone in the audience because you're the _star_. And uh, imagine them in their underwear, I suppose."

He caught Sportacus staring at him once while he was giving advice to one of the kids. He wasn't grinning or anything, but there was a certain _look_ he had which made Robbie uncomfortable. He left as quickly as he could that day.

Eventually he found himself suggesting choreography to Sportacus. He was staying later and later each time he went up to the studio, and he was watching the classes with an eye towards the kids' improvement.

By the time Sportacus got around to asking if Robbie would be willing to take part in the performance, he was already expecting it. Sportacus was taking the role of the Pirate King, as having him on stage with them would give the kids more confidence. But there were places where there were no pirates, and having an adult with them would still be helpful. So Sportacus asked Robbie to take the role of the constabulary's Sergeant.

Robbie thought about pointing out that Sportacus could take on a dual role just like the kids and then there would be no need for him… but it was easier just to accept. It wouldn't be that bad. It was just a kid's recital, after all.

…

The day of the performance came, and all of the kids were very excited. Nervous, but excited.

Sportacus, dressed in the costume Robbie had made for him, made sure all of the final details were in place before the show got started. Music, one or two props… Mostly he went from one student to the next, making sure they were all ready to go.

On that list he included Robbie. It had been a bit of a trick to get the ex-dancer to dance again, but it was obvious by the way he became more and more involved with the making of the show that he wasn't as disinterested as he liked to let on. Robbie had once been a well known dancer, renowned on every stage. To not dance at all anymore… it seemed to Sportacus that he'd miss his old life. And his assumptions seemed to have been right, as he accepted the invitation without argument. He'd come to every single practice once he was an official part of the show, though he'd still refused to come to the studio for practice time without the kids. Sportacus was a little disappointed at that. It would have been nice to move with an experienced dancer without having to split his attention with all his students.

After so long away from performances himself, even Robbie looked a little nervous.

"How are you, Robbie? Feeling alright?"

Robbie's head jerked up, his nose twitching. Definitely nervous, then.

"Of course I'm fine!" He snapped. "I've done this hundreds of times! I'm not nervous at all for some kids' recital."  
Fidgeting with his policeman's helmet, Robbie sulked, staring off into space.

Sportacus nodded to himself, and then sat beside Robbie. Robbie stiffened a little, but didn't object. "Well, I'm glad you're not nervous, Robbie. Because this is the kids' very first show, and they definitely _are_ nervous. They need to have someone to look up to give them confidence." He smiled at Robbie, who had gone still and thoughtful. "It's good that they have you to look to, Robbie. _You'll_ give them all the confidence they need."

Robbie didn't reply, but his ears had gone pink. Sportacus left him, giving his shoulder a friendly squeeze.

…

The show had gone well. The kids all got super into their parts as pirates and sang with gusto, and Sportacus had been almost _too_ convincing as the Pirate King. Everyone in the audience had enjoyed the silly antics of the constabulary, and Robbie as their Sergeant.

Sitting in his comfy chair, body buzzing too much to sleep, he replayed it all in his head. The familiar feeling of performing had been a nice rush, but… the hugs afterward had been nice, too, when the kids had decided the entire cast need a group hug.

And of course there was Sportaflip's little ad lib at the end of the ballet. He must have made the pirate costume too well, Robbie decided. It had gone to the elf's head so he thought he really _was_ a swashbuckler, and he'd decided to dip the Sergeant of the constabulary and give his a dashing kiss.

It was definitely a strange day, but… not all that bad.


End file.
